Humor

I truly believe ‘LAUGHTER DOETH GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE’!

Enjoy these jokes, videos, etc and have some laughter today!

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One morning, a grandmother was surprised to find that her 7-year-old grandson had made her coffee!
Smiling, she choked down the worst cup of her life.
When she finished, she found three little green Army men at the bottom.
Puzzled, she asked, “Honey, what are these Army men doing in my coffee?”
Her grandson answered, “Like it says on TV, Grandma:
‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!!’” 

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I’d Love to Be Six Again

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear–everything there was! Wow!

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie – the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola, and MandMs. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?”

One eye opened. The wife said, “You idiot, I meant my dress size!”

The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

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ITEMS FOUND IN CHURCH BULLETINS

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’
The sermon tonight:  ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale…
It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help..
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.
All are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.’

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