A Young Lady in Kansas wrote this......
I'm a pastors daughter and you know pastors kids don't always have it easy, you
see the mind set of today's society is wrong, most people today think that the
pastor and his family are supposed to be perfect, well I'm sorry to tell you
that we aren't perfect, pastors and their families are just as human as
everyone else. It was hard growing up for me, Satan was always attacking my
family, but we always knew that when he would start attacking then something
very good was about to happen whether it was in service or in our own personal
lives. I am now 22, it is still hard, but God has helped me throughout the
years. In November of 2000, I was in a relationship that I thought was from
God, I thought I was supposed to be getting married to this young man, but 3
days before thanksgiving something happened that I never dreamed of. I had
asked this certain individual if he still " loved me" and he told me
he didn't, at the time I thought that he was the only one that would ever want
to be with me, that he was the only one who would ever love me. That evening I
did something that I regret to this day, I tried to commit suicide. The next
day I prayed for God to forgive me and not to let me die, you see I didn't
really want to die, but at the time, I didn't think there was anything left for
me to live for, that nobody really cared, I thought well I can do this and no
one will find me until tomorrow, I asked myself who really cares anyway?, then
I told myself there is someone that cares, God cares. In December I moved to
where my parents live and I was having the hardest time to cope with what I had
done to myself, one evening I was talking to my father about how hard it was
for me to cope and he asked me if I had forgiven myself, I thought for a little
bit and said you know I haven't done that. My father told me that in order to
move on and to heal from this that I had to forgive myself, so right there I
asked God to forgive me and I asked myself to forgive me. From that day forth I
promised myself and God that I would never be caught in a situation as I was
in. I went to Sunday School the next morning and the lesson that the teacher
had that morning was exactly what I needed that morning and every lesson since
then has helped me grow, the teacher she had no idea what was going on in my
life , but God did. It is now December 2002 almost the year of 2003, it's been
over 2 years since that night. God has done so much for me in the past years, I
have grown so much spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I have finally
healed from that drastic evening. Once I fully surrendered my life to God
everything started changing for the better, oh it's not easy at times, but let
me tell you it's way easier than it used to be. God has blessed me with someone
very special, I never thought it was possible, but with God everything is
possible. There are 2 scriptures that have always helped me through my hard
times, the first one is, Psalms 37:4; Delight yourself in the Lord and he shall
give you the Desires of your heart. The second one is Isaiah 40:31; They that
wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings
as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint. I
thank God for everything he has brought me through and for the people he has
brought into my life to help me through. I pray that God will use my testimony
to help someone who has either been through what I've been through or has been
thinking about ending their life. Please if you are out there and you are
thinking of ways to end your life, I beg you not to, God has a plan for your
life, He does care, don't let your life go to waste, if you will do me a
favour, if you haven't done this yet, then I ask you to do this now, pray and
ask God to forgive you and then ask him to help you to forgive yourself. Thank
you for taking the time to read my testimony of what God has brought me
through,
God Bless and Take Care!
It is now April of 2004; God has blessed me with my new husband and a
baby on the way. My husband has helped me to cope with what happened in Nov.
2000. He told me the first time I told him about what happened that he didn't care
what happened in my past, he Loves me just the way I am. I am so thankful to
God for that. He has helped me through my husband to overcome my fears, to move
on with my life, to help others to overcome their fears of things. God has used
what happened in Nov. 2000 to help others. I've met a number of people online
and in person who have thought about doing what I did in 2000 and I've been
able to use what happened in 2000 and what God brought me through to help
others. I know God has changed my perspective of things to press on for Him,
There is a scripture in the Bible that says that as Christians we are to Love
non-Christians and Christians alike unconditionally no matter what they do to
you. God loves us unconditionally; He loved me unconditionally no matter what I
did in Nov. 2000. I remember as a little girl that, that scripture was taught
in Sunday School and Children's Church and that scripture has stuck with me
through the years. I don't care what people think of me anymore or what they do
to me, it may hurt sometimes what people say or do to me, but I don't care
anymore, I just love them unconditionally, just as Christ showed.
God Bless
and Take Care.
Love In
Christ,
Kristina